Blog 1: Does it have to be serious?
Now that’s a question I get asked, in one way or another, by many families I work with.
Does the eulogy have to be serious?
The answer is no. Absolutely not. A tribute can be funny, warm, irreverent, gentle, joyful – or all of those things at once. If they’d have wanted laughter in the room, we’ll find a way to put it there. If serious, reflective, quiet and dignified is more your person, then that’s what I will write. Most of the time, it’s somewhere in between – and that’s fine too. What it has to be is right for your person. That’s the only rule that matters.
So how do you write a eulogy?
Over the next few weeks, I’m going to be writing about what makes a great eulogy or tribute. What helps a family feel genuinely heard, and their person seen. What turns a pile of memories and stories into something that really lands when it’s spoken out loud.
Sometimes a tribute is chronological. More often, it isn’t. The different parts of a person’s life often gather more naturally into themes than a timeline. And by listening carefully to you, I’ll find the right way to structure their story.
I’ve been doing this a while. I’ve sat with a lot of families, heard a lot of stories, and written a lot of tributes. And I’m still moved by how different every single one is – and how much it matters to get it right.
This series started life as a Plodcast; filmed on a walk, as they always are, originally with my faithful co-host, Tully, at my heels. You can watch the first episode Plodcast 1: Does it have to be serious?. The blogs will follow the same thread, for anyone who’d rather read than watch.
Some things deserve more than a quick answer. This was one of them. We tackle holidays next week!
If you want to see the types of questions I have in mind as I meet with a family, then see my guide (although, in reality, I will let the conversation follow a natural cause and note the areas I need to come back to: Questions to help a family prepare
