Let me help you honour your loved ones by creating a ceremony that’s perfect for them and you. We do not have to follow a church service book or a particular set of words and readings; together we can create something unique so they are beautifully remembered.
You can choose all the elements you want to best celebrate their life. We can include contributions from family and friends in a variety of ways.
Some families want to say their own tribute (eulogy); if you struggle with finding the right words, I can help you by writing the tributes with you using what I learn from you. You might also want suggestions for other elements. (See under ‘What will the ceremony include?’ below.)
We can discuss and plan the ceremony that suits you – I aim to help you ensure your loved one has a beautiful and fitting farewell that sparkles with your love and memories of them..
Each ceremony I create is completely unique from the opening words to the final goodbye.
If you are wanting a funeral, you have probably already decided if you want a cremation or a burial and discussed this with your chosen Funeral Director.
Your loved one might have let you know what they wanted but they might not. In which case, you are free to choose and there is no right or wrong answer. Now we have natural burial grounds too, there is more choice than ever before.
If you are using a Funeral Director, they can talk you through your local options. I am happy to chat too.
Your loved one might have specified they want a Direct Cremation without a funeral – in which case, if you want to mark their passing, you might choose a Celebration of Life instead.
You might choose to have a celebration of life without the coffin present. This extends your range of venue choices.
For various reasons, you might not have the body of your loved one, but it is still important to you to mark their life and death. In which case, a celebration of life is an appropriate choice.
Whatever the reason for you to choose this, we can then be creative about venues.
Some funeral directors have chapels at their premises you can hire. However, you can think about somewhere that feels right for your and your loved one where we don’t need to worry about having space or permission for the coffin. Just some examples:
Your own back garden or in hour house
At a local park, woods or on the beach
In a favourite pub, cafe or restaurant
At a hotel, perhaps where a wedding reception was once held in the family
In your local village hall, a working men’s club or miner’s welfare – Rossington Miners Welfare will transform itself for a funeral or celebration of life
At a wedding venue – Mount Pleasant, Yorkshire Sculpture Park, Bawtry Hall, Rufford Hall, Clumber Park to name just a few
If you want help contacting venues, I can add this to the services I can provide to support you.
By law, a death has to be legally registered but there is no legal necessity to have a funeral. There does have to be a cremation or burial but this can be unattended. So some families choose a direct cremation with no one (or a few people) in attendance and have a separate memorial service. There is no right or wrong decision, just what is best for you.
The simple answer is – whatever you want it to. The only limit will be time in some venues – crematoriums in particular.
If you have not yet had any ideas, here are standard ideas as a starting point:
I am able and happy to include spiritual/religious ceremonial elements if you want them. I can also incorporate and take inspiration from your own cultural backgrounds. Equally, I am more than happy to create a ceremony with no spiritual beliefs and without any religious faith.
As the final milestone for your loved one, I want their funeral or memorial to be the best it can be so they are beautifully remembered.
Thanks to Laura, The Florist Branton, for her funeral flower pictures (find her on Facebook).
Venues can vary according to what you want and need and I am happy to deliver the ceremony wherever is right for you. For many that is the crematorium. However, don’t feel restricted by what others have always done. You can choose from a wide range of venues. Some Funeral Directors have their own chapels for services.
If it is a funeral, you can have the service in a location of your choice as long as the Funeral Director can get the coffin there and the land/venue owners are happy.
There is more choice for funeral venues than most people realise (see below).
If you have an idea, however unusual you think it is, let’s discuss it and see if we can make it happen for you and your loved one.
Some crematoria allow you to have a shorter time slot – this allows time for a shorter service keeping in key moments to celebrate the life of your loved one. A Funeral Director can organise this for you.
You could also have a committal at the graveside or when you scatter or inter the ashes. If you have a direct cremation, this might provide the closure you need.
This avoids more expensive options and can be a beautiful way to say goodbye.
If you want a committal service after cremation, contact me directly.
You might have already chosen a funeral director or you might be looking for your celebrant first, either way, these are the steps from finding your celebrant to your final ceremony.
Finding the celebrant who is right for you. Read my website, give me a call, drop me an email. I am happy to chat to see if I am the right match for you and if I can bring to life what you are hoping for.
If you are having a full funeral, I will liaise with your chosen Funeral Director.
I come and chat with you (and other members of family/friends) to learn as much as I can about your loved one and to discuss what you want in their ceremony. Use the button below these steps to see the form I use to help me gather information. Don’t worry – it’s not an interview and I don’t work through the list. We chat it all through informally.
We will discuss what elements you (and family/friends) will do yourselves and what you need from me.
You might already have definite ideas of music, poems, readings, slideshows, symbolic or religious elements OR you might want to have a think and let me know later after we have had a chat and discussed some ideas.
If you are having tributes from different people, I will need these in advance so I can ensure the service flows, so I can time everything, and so I can ensure nothing overlaps. Similarly, we will need to ensure that any readings/music fit any time restrictions in place.
Your Funeral Director will want any photos that you want in a slide show if you are having a full funeral.
You will make final decisions on particular elements and let me know. You will also let the Funeral Director know what music you want (they will give you a deadline for this). If you’re writing the tribute (eulogy), you will send it through to me by an agreed date.
If you want me to create the tribute/eulogy, I will write it and email it to you for checking usually within a week of meeting you. Often families remember something they want to add in after I have gone so this is the time for letting me know so the final tribute is right for you and your loved one. And importantly, it is the time to let me know if anything in inaccurate. We both want the ceremony to be right.
I will write the whole service incorporating all the various elements and the correct finalised tribute.
I will send the order of service information to your Funeral Director for them to produce the Order of Service booklet. You will need to send the photos to them for the Order of Service and the slideshow if you want one.
The day of the ceremony. I will be waiting for you at your venue when you arrive for the service. My aim for you is to ensure you remember and say farewell to your loved one with a meaningful and memorable ceremony that represents their unique life and character.
After the service, I will post you the script for the whole ceremony that I will have used on the day for you to keep and to hand on in the future as part of your family’s story.
I also share a leaflet to help with guidance on grieving and a few other items.
If you are having a full funeral, you will pay me via your Funeral Director – this is a standard Celebrant charge. If you have arranged a Memorial directly with me, your final payment is due before the ceremony, we will discuss this when we meet as it depends if you want more than I would normally do for a funeral or if it is roughly the same. I can send my pricing leaflet on request via email.
